Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Is the Mailman the Devil?

It occurred to me, driving home tonight, that 100% of what the mailman brings to our homes is evil (when looking at things through the lens of an anti-clutter specialist). And why haven't we chopped down our mailboxes and replaced them with crucifixes? Here's what he brings:
  • Junk mail that may never get opened, is unnecessary, killed a tree, etc.
  • Magazines that pile up, that you'll never have enough time to read, and are so pretty that they begged to be kept eternally.
  • Catalogs that you must look at, otherwise it feels wasteful to just recycle it and you don't want to cancel it because one day you'll be in shopping mode.
  • Boxes of stuff from shopping channels that you didn't need in the first place and if the stuff doesn't work or fit, won't ever get returned.
  • Bank statements that remind you of how much money you don't have.
  • Bills--enough said.
  • Solicitations from charities who bribe you with free address labels.
  • Gifts that you don't like and feel guilty getting rid of.
  • Greeting cards and personal letters--yes, this is how the devil tricks you. These are the bait that keep you going to check the mailbox every day.

1 comment:

Bust-Clutter said...

Toooo funny. I would say the mail carrier qualifies except for the occasional check he brings.